


A Shard of Fear

by rebelmeg



Series: After the Ashes [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blood, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Major Character Injury, Mentions of Iron Dad and his Spider Son, Mentions of Major Character Deaths, Mentions of Pepperony, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Science Bros, Thaddeus Ross is a dickwad and Tony shuts him down, Thor is also not in a good place, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Bingo 2018, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony and Nebula: Dark Humor Buddies, Tony is not in a good place, Tony willingly going to medical is a bad sign, neither is clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 10:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14998946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Picking up immediately where "I Told You So" left off, everyone gets caught up with what has been going on.  They're all suffering.  They don't know what to do.  And Tony is bleeding.A fill for Tony Stark Bingo 2018Square filled: S4 - Reunion





	A Shard of Fear

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a couple people comment in "I Told You So" that they would be very interested in a continuation of that fic. I hadn't intended to do anything when I wrote it, but figured if I was inspired...
> 
> I got inspired. I don't know if I'll keep going with this series or not. I'm playing with the possibility, but I don't know what'll happen with it. I will say that my mind likes playing with prompts, so maaaaaybe if you have something in mind, you can drop it in the comments and I might latch on to it!
> 
> As always, if you spot a typo, or a sentence doesn't flow right, please let me know! Typos in my work make my eye twitch...

The meeting lasted… well, it felt like minutes and years at the same time. But that was how time seemed to pass ever since half the world turned to ash. Within two minutes of arriving, Tony (Natasha still couldn’t believe he was really _back_ , she should have believed Rhodey when he said no dead body meant no guarantees) had apparently had his fill of Secretary Ross’ hologram presence.

“The Accords are still in place, Stark.” Ross had said, with a tone of superiority and smugness in his voice, like he was holding something over Tony’s head. “You are in a room full of criminals, fugitives, and traitors.”

Tony’s expression had been chilling in its lack of expression, but his voice carried a cold, controlled fury that Natasha was truly impressed with. “Half the world is gone and the other half is in real danger of never recuperating. The Accords had their place when there was still an earth here to save, but they are not even ranking on my list of priorities right now, and I am through entertaining your attempts to bully and threaten me into doing what you want. We’re _done_. Friday, be a dear and cancel the Secretary’s connection and block all further access.”

“My pleasure, boss.”

Ross’ holographic face had twisted in anger. “You can’t do th—”

It had been a real source of joy to watch that hologram disappear.

Natasha had not bothered to hide her smile, especially when she saw the expression of shock on Steve's face, but it faded fast when Tony didn’t return it. He just met her eyes and looked away, nothing in him but cold and emptiness. Not even the slightest spark of satisfaction, no more of that controlled fury, no teasing flash of humor, just… flat lack of emotion.

She shifted her gaze to Thor, sitting at the far end of the conference table, still as statue and just as silent. It was easy to forget he was there, actually, despite his size. He'd been like this ever since the battle in Wakanda ended, a ghost that took up space. As far as Natasha could tell, from what she'd been able to deduce in the past few days, he'd lost... literally everything. His home, his people, his friends, every single member of his family. And now half of the planet he'd sworn to protect, as well as half of the rest of the universe. Was it any wonder he was drifting through the days in silence? What did he really have to live for? All the fight had just gone out of him.

The meeting matched the general mood, graveyard serious and with an air of impotent despair. They all caught each other up with what had happened in short, concise sentences, summing up the disastrous fallout from half the world ashing into nothing, with only the barest traces of emotion. The blue alien woman, Nebula, had remained in her spot behind Tony’s chair, leaning against the wall with her arms folded, but something had flickered across her mechanical face at the names of the aliens she and Tony had been with. 

Tony didn’t say much, clarified a few things, confirmed that he’d run up against Thanos. Actually… he’d been way too quiet. Even for everything that had happened, he was too quiet. And only got quieter when he rattled off the list of those who had disintegrated on Titan, most of them unknown to the rest of them except for Thor (he had glanced at Tony, just briefly, then gone back to staring into space). All of them recognized Spiderman, though.

Natasha hadn’t realized, she hadn’t had any idea, how much the kid, whoever he was, had meant to Tony. She should have. She should have seen it. She should have paid better attention. Because the way Tony said his name, the way a fine tremor shook through him… that was a loss far greater than just a mentor losing his protégé. Tony’s flat emptiness and Clint’s barely-controlled anger were really not that different, were they?

The room fell into silence after everyone was brought up to speed. It was all just… too horrible, it was as if they were waiting for it to change. Days later, and they were still hoping it was all a mistake, a bad dream. Something they might wake up from. Some kind of joke played in very bad taste.

“I… I need to think. Process some stuff. We’ll… tomorrow.” Tony put his elbows on his knees and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. There was a wince on his face, clearly something physical was hurting, and Natasha was suddenly more than a little concerned at the way he favored his left side. He was hurt. He always got hurt, even in the suit, but going up against Thanos alone? Her concern escalated into real worry.

Clint stood up and headed for the doors without a word. He was still angry, lines of tension all through his body, but Natasha knew it was mostly anger at himself. That was where his outburst earlier had come from. It wasn’t anger directed at Tony. Tony had seen this all coming, tried to tell them. And no one had listened. What a price they had paid for it.

She got up quickly and intercepted Clint at the doors, putting a hand on his shoulder and waiting until he looked at her before speaking, ignoring the way the doors automatically opened to let him through.

“I’ll be there in a minute, okay?”

He nodded, once, then walked out, not looking at anyone else. Another real worry, right there. Without his family, Clint was an untethered, wounded wild animal, and he was on the brink of losing it entirely. She was doing all she could to at least cap the blast when it happened.

Steve followed Clint slowly, walking as if there were a great weight on his shoulders, his eyes on the floor as he went through the doors and tucked his hands in his pockets. He looked defeated, and it was an expression that was starting to become familiar on his face. Thor left as well, not looking at anyone, not even seeming to see his surroundings as he left the room with uncharacteristically quiet steps.

Bruce had all but jumped at Tony the second Clint stood up to leave, and Natasha turned around to see the two Science Bros clinging to each other, both of them unsteady and holding on hard.

“I got worried for a minute there,” Bruce said quietly, and Tony shuddered in his arms.

“Yeah. Me too.”

To give them some semblance of privacy, Natasha shifted her gaze away and it landed on the alien, Nebula. She was still leaning against the wall, but her black eyes seemed to be waiting for Natasha's.

They sized each other up, and it was clear that there were a whole lot of similarities between them. Sometimes you could sense a traumatic past on a person, like they were wearing the same shirt as you. Natasha instinctively knew that the woman was also just as deadly as she looked.

Rhodey had made his way around the table and approached Tony and Bruce, his dark eyes somber.

For the first time, a sliver of real emotion shivered across Tony’s face, a shard of fear that was so real and sharp that it sent a chill down Natasha’s spine.

Tony fell still, not even breathing, his eyes huge in his pale face as he looked at Rhodey. His voice was brittle and on the verge of breaking when he roughly whispered, “Pepper?”

“She’s alive. She’s fine.”

Tony sagged, collapsing in on his bones with a ragged sigh of relief, and Natasha was sure he would have fallen right to the floor if Bruce and Rhodey hadn’t caught him.

“Oh, thank god. Thank god.” He whispered, repeating it like a mantra, over and over, closing his eyes and letting his head fall to Rhodey’s shoulder.

“Tony, you’re bleeding.” Bruce said in alarm, ducking his head to look at the dark glossy wet spot on Tony’s ripped jacket.

Tony was... spectacularly unconcerned. “Yeah. Probably should go to medical. Did my best, Nebula helped, but it’s… kind of a mess.”

“What happened?”

Nebula stepped forward, finally moving away from the wall, and when Bruce came around to look at Tony’s side (wow, that was a lot of blood, how was he still standing?), the woman slung Tony’s arm over her shoulders.

“Can’t wait any longer. I can’t patch it again. Tell me where you need to go.” She ordered, her low voice hard and harsh, but Tony didn’t seem off-put by it. He just nodded and turned himself, Nebula, and Rhodey towards the door, Bruce shuffling awkwardly in front of him while he kept looking at the wound.

“Tony, this… this is really bad, what happened? How much blood have you lost?”

Tony shook his head, taking a determined step forward, giving the other two no choice but to go with him. He glanced at Natasha as the four of them moved past.

“Barton’s family?”

He always seemed to know. He always had.

Natasha's voice trembled. “Gone. All four.”

Tony sighed again, hanging his head and looking utterly exhausted. “We should have done more.”

Before she could reply past the sudden lump in her throat, they were gone, Bruce trading Rhodey places so they could walk faster, the blood on Tony’s clothes starting to drip to the floor.

Alone in the conference room, Natasha stepped back until she bumped into the table, then leaned her hip against it and crossed her arms.

“Friday?”

“Ms. Romanoff?”

Jarvis used to call her Agent Romanoff. Suddenly, Natasha missed the AI. Missed being an agent. Missed a lot of things.

“Please let Ms. Potts know that Tony is back, and that he’s on the way to medical in rough shape. And he’s got a blue alien with him.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Natasha stayed where she was, letting herself have a minute. Just one, though. Tony’s blood made a path through the doors and down the hall, smeared by footsteps in a few spots. The cleaning bots that Tony kept all over the building would have it cleaned up and sanitized in minutes, there was never a mess around for long. If only the mess that was the rest of the world were so easy to take care of.

Once her minute was up, Natasha straightened and set her shoulders. She’d check on Clint. Then she’d check on Tony. And then…

Well. None of them had any idea what to do next, did they.


End file.
